Picture this. We have our entire government shut down. A debt ceiling which has to be raised in a couple of days or else we will face an economic calamity never before felt in this U.S. Perhaps worse than this is how we will be known to international financial circles: America, The Deadbeat Nation.
Our current situation was brought to us by the GOP members of the House under the direction of a newbie Senator Ted Cruz or affectionately known as The Puppeteer. The Non-Leader of the House, John Boehner, when asked a direct question by a reporter as to the fiscal crisis he non-led us into, his response was to sing: Doh, Doh, Doh. He’s now Frank Sinatra?
Some extreme Republicans feel it’s terrific we have no operating government; it’s good for our national bank account to not pay employees. Once they get their heads out of their, let’s be delicate, butts they will realize that it is actually estimated to be costing the U.S. taxpayers, let’s call them Voters, $10 billion per day.
The Non-Leader has put forward a new proposal to re-open the government and raise the debt ceiling: spending cuts. Mr. Non-Leader, we Voters propose, you get your House in order and bring the Senate-approved clean CR to the House floor immediately. In the event the latest poll numbers haven’t been shown to you as it might bring tears to your eyes, you and The Puppeteer are single-handedly destroying the Republican brand. Which would leave the Dems with no one to debate besides the Ottumwa (Iowa) Junior High School Debating Society…which might prove more difficult than debating you folks having the shutdown and debt ceiling debacle on your resume.
And a note about the debt ceiling. No debt ceiling agreement, no social security checks for U.S. retirees. Good thing seniors don’t represent a huge voting bloc, especially during the midterms. What’s that, you say they do. Take away their money, they’ll take their votes elsewhere. It’s really a simple process. I hear there are gads of Dems salivating for House seats. Even yours.
But Mr. Non-Leader, don’t be upset. There will be plenty of job opportunities for you come November 5, 2014. Somali pirates are hiring and you’d be a natural for the job: capturing and holding hostages, heartlessly harming large groups of innocent victims and your uncanny ability to demand outrages ransoms while you are standing in front of your own party’s firing squad. Maybe, and this is just a maybe, you could be the Non-Leader of the Somali Pirate Brigade.
Bravo, Mr. Non-Leader, bravo.